Inviting Guests in Japan & the World

I believe between Brunei and Japan, inviting guests is quite similar, both tend to invite people out to meet at a restaurant or a cafe rather than to the homes of the other. But there is also the fact of the generational gap, some generations may prefer one or the other; or a difference in personality because I do know people who loves inviting people to their houses. For example, because I live with my parents and siblings, when I or my siblings invite friends to our home, my parents rule to my siblings and I is that we have to clean the house. I've also notice in Western households, people can just show up unannounced to someone's house and it would be fine, whereas in some, if not all, Asian countries it may be considered rude. Even in my family usually when relatives want to visit, they usually call or text ahead of time, to make sure we are at home first. The only time that I can think of when people show up unannounced is to drop something off like right before Chinese New Years, gifts will be given.


The Intercultural Perspective of Inviting Guests

1. The Invitation Itself

This will depend on what kind of event it is, if it is for a wedding, most will send the invitation months in advance with a written invitation, if it is for a casual meet up or a gathering, a verbal or a text within a week is enough.

2. Expectations Around Attending/Declining (RSVP)

As far as I know, most Bruneians don't use RSVP, maybe a casual verbal yes or no. For most Bruneians we would most likely let people know the reason for not attending without being asked when declining an invitation.

3. Guest Behavior and Etiquette at the Event

As for the punctuality of Bruneians, it is expected that there will be late due to traffic, because wherever we go in Brunei, it is expected that there is going to be traffic (2020). However, I believe in Japan, it is consider to be very rude. And like Japan, we take off our shoes when entering someone's home. As for gifts, it is not as practiced as in Japan. In Brunei, some guest do prefer to listen and occasionally speak up and that's fine. For most Bruneians, we do prefer to try and eat how ever much we like but there are some that are "too polite" and take just enough for themselves. If by the end of the gathering and there is still leftover food, the guests are invited to take the leftovers home if they wish. When leaving, Bruneians aren't really partial to how long they stay, when we leave we usually just let the host know and leave.

4. Underlying Cultural Values

For Brunei, we tend to pay attention to the non-verbal cues because like Japan, we do not want to have any conflicts and to keep the harmony. If it is for more formal events, the people of my generation tend to only talk to people who are in a position similar and only speak to people of a higher position (like a boss or something) when spoken to. But this may not be the case for others in Brunei.


Video Insights

For the video on how to visit someone's house, its shows just how politeness is integrated in Japanese culture. In Brunei, visiting someone's house the etiquettes isn't as enforces, only the taking your shoes part may be more enforce. For the second video, for some people it is like what they said in the video where Saya said it is stressful, some people in Brunei does feel that way as well, because like Japan, people in Brunei do value "keeping face", even though the guest may not mind the mess, some people will still judge subconsciously.


Reference

Commisceo Global Consulting Ltd. (2020, January 1) Afghanistan – Language, Culture, Customs and Etiquette. Retrieved from https://commisceo-global.com/resources/country-guides/afghanistan-guide

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